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First Impressions: Confidence And Trustworthiness

First Impressions: Confidence And Trustworthiness

“I usually make up my mind about a man in 10 seconds, and I very rarely change it.”

― Margaret Thatcher, Former British Prime Minister

Lady Thatcher was generous to withhold judgment for a full 10 seconds. Research shows people form first impressions almost immediately. A 2006 Princeton University study found that it takes just one-tenth of a second to make judgments about a person based on their facial appearance alone. People consciously and unconsciously form knee-jerk opinions about others based on a long list of factors: posture, eye contact, facial expression, clothing, handshake, voice, etc.

While all of these factors can come into play, social psychologist and Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy says the intangible traits of trustworthiness and confidence account for 80 to 90 percent of an overall first impression.

Cuddy told Wired, “When we form a first impression of another person it’s not really a single impression. We’re really forming two. We’re judging how warm and trustworthy the person is, and that’s trying to answer the question, ‘What are this person’s intentions toward me?’ And we’re also asking ourselves, ‘How strong and competent is this person?’ That’s really about whether or not they’re capable of enacting their intentions.”

So, by all means, stand straight, make eye contact, smile, dress well, shake with a firm hand, speak with a confident voice, but consider Cuddy’s tip to cultivate trust when you meet someone for the first time: give the other person the floor first. Let them speak first or ask them a question.

“Warmth is really about making the other person feel understood,” added Cuddy. “They want to know that you understand them. And doing that is incredibly disarming.”

Advanced Customer Service Skills: Manipulative Customers

Advanced Customer Service Skills: Manipulative Customers

Here are a few tips and best practices to help either you or the people you coach handle these difficult situations like a pro.

The contact center agents we coach encounter many different types of difficult customers. Some get upset for valid reasons and others, frankly, use anger and insults to try and game the system. Our agents need to be able to handle both.

First of all, agents don’t usually have the communication skills needed to deal with manipulative or otherwise unreasonable customers. We have found that many companies simply don’t teach the skills agents need for dealing with these unreasonable customers in on-board training and that only the very best coaches have the ability to truly make a difference when coaching and practicing with agents.

As we teach our agents, starting the call off right and acknowledging customers are the first steps toward deescalating calls. Here’s how a top-notch agent might sound when confronted with a furious customer:


“Sir, I appreciate and understand how upset you are today. I’m glad you called and that I got your call. I have a couple of options I can offer you. Would you like to hear them now or have you got more frustration you’d like to share with me?”

But, what happens when irate customers are not swayed by an agent’s competence and empathy?  Level-headed, reasonable people will start to calm down if an agent remains professional and sincerely acknowledges customer concerns. Customers who maintain their level of anger when you legitimately address their concerns to the best of your ability might be trying to manipulate the situation.

Consider using or coaching agents on the following tips we’ve developed based on thousands of interactions with the best customer service teams in the world:

Don’t react emotionally

This gives away control of the conversation and lacks professionalism. Meeting a customer’s anger with anger will only escalate the situation and give them more to complain about. Maintain a professional and understanding demeanor throughout the interaction. Be aware and in control of your voice tone.

Be positive and offer choices

Speak in a positive manner. Instead of talking about what you can’t do, talk about the options you can offer. And give the customer a choice, if possible. This lets them feel more in control and lowers resistance.

Accept self-important people

When a customer actually plays the “do you know who I am” card, simply tell them you understand how important they are, (using a sincere voice tone, of course), and then follow up by saying something like, “However, the only options available at this point are…” and restate what you can do for them.

Deflect verbal abuse

This one is difficult for some. It involves parking your ego when an angry customer turns to insults. Rise above, take the high road and continually acknowledge their concerns, while remaining firm in what you can do. Realize it’s them, not you, so don’t take it personally.


Customer: “You clearly don’t understand how to do your job.”
You: “I’ll admit I’m not perfect, but even so, what I can do for you today is offer you…”

Easier said than done. Maintaining a level-head when someone is clearly trying to bully or manipulate you is difficult, and responding appropriately and effectively takes practice and repetition. Coaches can incorporate this type of practice into private coaching sessions or team meetings, but oftentimes, coaches themselves need to hone their skills first. It’s one thing to tell reps how to handle manipulative and unreasonable customers, and it’s another thing to be able to demonstrate the appropriate response.

Our teams need to be exposed to what greatness looks like. As coaches, we need to drill these techniques repetitively rather than showing reps only once or twice and expecting them to achieve. Consilio can whip your team into shape by showing supervisors, coaches and/or customer service reps how it’s done and then practicing with them until they have the process down pat. Our processes and capabilities put demonstration, practice and repetition above all else to build and improve your team’s skills. Our rigorous training is so effective, we guarantee our results. Give us a try and see what a difference world-class coaching can make in your organization.


Advanced Customer Service Skills: Drawing The Line with Customers

Advanced Customer Service Skills: Drawing The Line with Customers

Face it. Sometimes the old adage, “the customer’s always right,” just doesn’t apply.
Clients or customers may abuse your trust or your people, and you have the right to speak up if they cross lines and engage in unacceptable behavior. Those “lines” are defined differently within each organization, but they generally include situations where a customer puts the well-being of your company or your employees at risk by:

  • breaking the law,
  • causing a disturbance or nuisance,
  • or being threatening.

Unfortunately, despite our best efforts and best practices, these uncomfortable interactions cannot always be prevented. We’ve trained and coached companies with top-notch service and communication skills. We’ve seen them navigate relationships meticulously, with attention to detail and clear communication with clients, only to have that client lie, manipulate and break the trust that existed in that relationship. Reaching that breaking point changes how we approach a situation or a client who has gone too far.

Top performers often follow this simple process to clearly communicate exactly where they stand to help them get the results they want. Take this example of an event space being abused by the client:

State the current situation.


“Our agreement clearly states that no ovens are allowed to operate on our premises. This is a violation of the fire code. However, you continue to operate three ovens in here despite the fact that we have talked about this twice already tonight.”

Set expectations.


“I need you to remove the ovens from the building within the next 30 minutes.”

Communicate consequences.


“If you don’t, your company will no longer be able to hold events here.”

Brainstorm solutions, (if necessary).


“How can I help you to get this done?”

Keep in mind, having a nasty voice tone is almost never acceptable, but even the savviest of customer service reps uses a firm tone now and then. It may be warranted in a situation like this – where a customer is disrespecting your company’s principles and livelihood.

Delivering a difficult message to anyone can be unsettling and stressful, but when executed well, delivering a difficult message can actually develop rapport and trust between both parties.

Whether it’s a client or a subordinate, certain communication skills need to be learned and practiced at a basic level to be effective.

Top performers:

  • plan their difficult messages ahead of time, if possible.
  • gather any records or documents they may need to reference.
  • decide on an action plan that imposes a consequence.
  • try to stay in a positive mindset.
  • keep the conversation quick; five to ten minutes tops.

These skills do not come easy to everyone, so it’s important that service organizations focus on maintaining a robust coaching culture to take the skills of their people to the next level. Consilio has the ability and experience to train reps to handle all kinds of customers – including the overly disrespectful ones – while still achieving a positive outcome. We do this not only by coaching reps, but by rigorously training their coaches and managers as well to carry on the coaching long after we are gone. Why not try us out and see what we can do to amp up your team’s service level?